Found this amusing (=

UNAVOIDABLE LAWS

1. Law of Mechanical Repair:
   After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will have to pee.
   
   
2. Law of the Workshop:
   Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
   
   
3. Law of probability:
   The probability of 'being watched' is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
   
   
4. Law of the Telephone:
   When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
   
   
5. Law of the Alibi
   If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning or soon thereafter, you will have a flat tire.
   
   
6. Variation Law:
   If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
   
   
7. Bath Theorem:
   When the body is fully immersed in water, or in the shower, the telephone will ring.
   
   
8. Law of close encounters:
   The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you do not want to be seen with.
   
   
9. Law of the result:
   When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
   
   
10. Law of Biomechanics:
    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
    
    
11. Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
    
    
12. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
    The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, colour and cost of the carpet/rug.
    
    
13. Law of Location:
    No matter where you go, there you are
    
    
14. Law of Logical argument:
    Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
    
    
15. Brown's Law:
    If the shoe is comfortable, it's ugly